We think doing things for people is better for them. But sometimes our actions even irritate them.
I come up with this idea after today's morning in Bali. A yard cat comes to our house every day, and my girlfriend Anna gives him food.
Anna does this because she likes cats and is generally kind. Maybe, there is something in us, humans because we enjoy helping animals when we can.
One important question…
Do we need something in return?
Of course!
Because the world is about exchanging energy. Physical energy, mental energy, etc.
From the cat, we subconsciously want just a cute look in return. When we feed cats we feel proud and kind, because the person who cares about animals automatically becomes kind.
All people want to be kind, even evil people too.
Cats also know about energy exchange. Thousands of years of evolution have taught cats how to deal with humans. In ancient Egypt, the cat was a Sacred animal because cats watched rats and protected harvest. The main cat's goal in human eyes was catching rats.
When the cat caught the rat it was awarded. This behavior was transferred through DNA for centuries.
So why I'm talking about it?
Today I opened a door in my house and found a dead rat. The cat caught the rat and brought it to us because we gave him food. Maybe he wanted to share the spoils.
The problem is that in the cat’s mindset, he did the right thing by bringing the dead rat to my house door.
But I saw the dead rat that needs to be buried. It ruined my morning mood.
The cat probably thought: “I did a good job catching the rat. They will appreciate it and give me more food.”
I thought: “So if we continue giving it food, it will bring the new rat to my door every day?”
The difference in thoughts is a huge problem.
Of course, it’s a story about the cat and it is hard to have some expectations from it but let's dig deeper.
Cat did things that were valuable for other people who lived in different places and times.
Expectations from cats changed.
For me and Anna, the value of the cat is just feeling that we are good people when we give him a portion of food.
Sounds funny but we do the same thing with people or in businesses.
We try to do something for them and think our actions are valuable.
But sometimes our value is that we simply are nearby or just good listeners.
That is why some people do a lot of useful stuff (from their point of view) and become rejected,
but some do nothing and get all.